Posted by
Blogging Conservative Granny on Wednesday, September 15, 2010 7:55:25 PM
I happened to catch the president's press conference last week. I noticed a plethora of statements that just begged for a rebuttal, so here I am after a four-month recess.
Obama: "Instead of tax breaks that encourage corporations to create jobs overseas, we believe in tax breaks for companies that create jobs right here in the United States of America."
BCG: Can you tell me how $800K of stimulus money ended up in a
genital-washing instruction program in Africa? (Somehow that one seems rather apropos.) Why are the majority of renewable
energy grants from the "Recovery" Act going to foreign countries?
Obama: "...the hole the recession left was huge and progress has been painfully slow."
BCG: Are you kidding me? The labor in my first pregnancy lasted more than 22 hours and I got to only 5 cm. That is painfully slow. Far as I know, my progress never went backwards.
Obama (speaking of the proposed small business jobs bill): "It will more than double the amount some small business owners can borrow to grow their companies."
BCG: Are we going to have to update an old saying to this: "You can take a business owner to the bank, but you can't make him borrow"? Oh, but we saw with the banks that the government did make them borrow. For being an alleged son of an economist, you have no clue about the real world. Why would any business hire anyone when no one knows what their taxes are going to be come January? (I'll take a wild guess: higher?)
Obama: But the American people didn't send us here to think about our jobs.
BCG: And it's a really good thing we didn't! How's the golf score doing?
Obama: But today, I'm happy to announce Austan Goolsbee as her (Christina Romer's) replacement.
BCG: Oh, yeah. I heard he's the funniest member of the Administration. (
You be the judge. He didn't float my boat.)
Obama: Well, the--what I said was that if it was (sic) just a referendum on whether we've made the kind of progress that we need to, then people around the country would say we're not there yet.
BCG: I'm kind of still trying to figure out where "there" is.
Obama: Now for all the progress we've made, we're not there yet.
BCG: I think you already said that. What progress was that again? The only 4 million jobs that you referred to as being lost since you took office? Somehow I would have imagined progress as looking, well, different.
Obama: Three million people have jobs that wouldn't have them otherwise had we not taken these steps.
BCG: Let me see. We were told the unemployment rate would go up to 8% if the stimulus bill wasn't passed. It's now 9.5% or some such. I'm really curious how those jobs saved and jobs created numbers are made--from whole cloth?
Obama: I'm concerned about all Senate confirmations these days. I mean, if I nominate somebody for dog catcher.... Hans, I wasn't trying to be funny.
BCG: Which is a good thing because you weren't.
Obama: Prior to us getting here...you had a set of policies that were skewed toward special interests, skewed towards the most powerful, and ordinary families out there were being left behind.
BCG: Now you just skew everything towards the unions and ordinary families are being a word that Town Hall probably won't allow. (Hint: it rhymes with "skewed.")
Obama: We were at war with terrorists and murderers who had perverted Islam, had stolen its banner to carry out their outrageous acts.
BCG: Or, as one former Muslim says "obedient Muslims" as opposed to hypocrites.
Obama: We stand together against those who would try to do us harm.
BCG: When you're not bowing to them?
Obama (speaking of the Israel/Palestine situation): There are going to be rejectionists who suggest that it can't happen, and there are also going to be cynics who just believe that the mistrust between the sides is too deep.)
BCG: That would be those of us who are "People of The Book"?
Obama (speaking of the Koran-burning story): So I hardly think we're the ones who elevated this story.
BCG: We can thank the New York Times for the beginnings of Terry Jones' notoriety because of a story that appeared there August 26. You, however, escalated it.
Obama: For those who aren't familiar, Cobell and Pigford relate to settlements surrounding historic discrimination against minority farmers who weren't oftentimes provided the same benefits as everybody else under the USDA.
BCG: You forgot to mention something about the Pigford settlement--that Shirley Sherrod, the fired USDA employee who appreciated the job security of government work,
benefited from that settlement. Some have found it interesting that there are
more black farmers trying to get money from the government than there were black farmers. (P.S. Who says "oftentimes" anyway?)
Obama (speaking of the changes in the student loan program): ...we've been able to take tens of billions of dollars that were going to banks and financial intermediaries in the student loan program and said we're going to give that money directly to students so that they get more help going to college. And obviously poor kids are the ones who are going to benefit most from those programs.
BCG: Well, obviously! It should work out just hunky-dory for the Democratic party also, what with Harry Reid cramming the
DREAM Act into a defense bill. It sounds like a Democratic voters recruiter's wet dream.
Obama: And one of the goals I think that I've set for myself and for my team is to make sure that President Abbas and Prime Minister Netanyahu start thinking about how can they help the other succeed, as opposed to how do they figure out a way for the other to fail.
BCG: Palestinians are on record as saying they want to drive the Jews into the sea. If I were a Jew, I'd want the Palestinians to fail!
Obama: ...this country is so resilient, we are so tough, we can't be frightened by a handful of people who are trying to do us harm, especially when we've captured them and we've got the goods on them.
BCG: I don't care how good your abs are for a man of your age. When you talk tough, for some reason it makes me laugh. I imagine it causes a similar response in the Middle East.
Obama: But we have the best minds, the best intelligence officers, the best special forces, who are thinking about this day and night. And they will continue to think about it day and night as long as I'm President.
BCG: And who will, no doubt, breathe a sigh of relief when you're not. Just sayin'....
Obama (on the threatened burning of the Koran): ...when someone goes out of their way to be provocative in ways that we know can inflame the passions of over a billion Muslims around the world, at a time when we've got our troops in a lot of Muslim countries, that's a problem.
BCG: And, do you think, maybe that's a problem that Muslims are so inclined to inflammation? Especially since they like to take people with them when they choose martyrdom. How many Bibles would you have to burn to get Christians to kill people?
Obama: We are not at war against Islam. We are at war against terrorist organizations that have distorted Islam or falsely used the banner of Islam to engage in their destructive acts.
BCG: I believe I covered that above. I'll add this question: Can you name one terrorist organization that
isn't Muslim?
Obama: Thank you very much, everybody.
BCG: What? No God Bless America?